the phrase of the day:

skull fucking.

Jean Grae, one of my favorite mc's, has some shit on her minds. PLEASE read this shit:

http://www.allhiphop.com/features/

nothin to talk about today. interesting conversations on the bus today, i feel sick, my back's gettin better, sadly waiting for this week to end...and yes the slam money is all gone, ALTHOUGH my neighbor owes me 10 bones for bongo burger today. and i think my friends gonna hook it up and publish me in the berkeley poetry review. word the fuck up. now go buy Jean Grae's "The bootleg of the bootleg ep" and support some damn good hiphop. peace.

i won my first slam tonite at the bear's lair, and will now duke it out in the finals in 2 weeks to see if i'm gonna make the official uc slam team. i'm nervous as fuck, but who knows man. i just gotta go in there and try my hardest, speak my 3mins of shit - 3 mins that a lot of people around the world would never have a chance to have ever. it was nice meeting new poets, some of whom i've seen bust shit on a regular basis. this kid named patrick is looking good, bruce tore it up as always - his imagery, as well as shaden's, is just beautiful to hear. makes you say tingle man, for real. best part of the night was getting some poetry lessons from geoff trenchard. that meant a lot. a good guy indeed, talented poet. so overall i'm excited, yet nervous, but just happy, and 15 dollars richer, which will quickly be spent on either music, bart, or food (probably the ladder)>>>i need a back-i-otomy on some sir smokes a lot shit (see half baked) cuz my back is aching like clay aiken. give me a asian massage therapist now!>>>lots of thoughts in my head right now, mainly about my family, my mom, my sister, pops, abuelito...lots of thoughts. i'm a paranoid guy ya'll, i've been getting lil sleep, feeling sluggish...i love the bay, but i think right now, i'd love to be with my family either here, or in socal. it's not a form of homesickness, it's just the desrie to be with my family. i wish they lived here in a safe hood, like oakland/berkeley hills, maybe albany...my mother's turning 53 this friday, and i wish i could be with her. i wish i could be watching the super bowl with my father, or eating tostitos with my sister...images of the 'kiddie table' i still sit at every holiday dinner with my sister and 2 cousins...the song that sums all this up is clearly Reflection Eternal's "Memories Live" - first time i heard that song was in Davis road tripping with jesse, and we were both moved by it, feeling it. download it ya'll.>>>and now i'm off to write a poem for class tomorrow. 4 hours poetry class! damn!....and i realize this was kinda a 9-5 blog, and i apologize...queers.

san francisco, the nyc of the west. watching skateboarders at embarcadero learning how to skate switchstance made me remember those covina/west covina sessions of junior high, and how that skate crew knew each other barely on a first name basis, did not even exchange phone numbers, yet were family - maybe like these kids here at emb. being with my sister today was a great escape, just walkin around, watchin her shop...a needed retreat from her life of tedious med school tests and intense competition. saying goodbye is always the hardest. i always wait till i know she's on the muni home until i leave for my bart ride back to the east bay. superstitions are a motherfucker, though it's probably just paranoia on some fantastic damage shit>>> 'The Fog of War' - a brilliant movie. It's been sellin like hotcakes in sf. a must see. it's a documentary about Robert McNamara, who was secretary of defense during the vietnam war under johnson, worked under kennedy during the cuban missile crisis, also worked in ww2, and was even president of ford automobiles for a lil while. utterly amazing film, kicks the shit out of 'bowling for columbine'. see link for info. ((http://www.sonyclassics.com/fogofwar/)). cut and paste suckas.>>>at dusk i watched a chain of homeless cats at embarcadero getting served free food in the cold. that line was damn long, too long for it to exist within the richest country of the world. overall i love sf, though my perspective would probably change if i had to live there, though i'd love to try.>>>for any hiphop heads reading this (meraj...maybe that emopussywhippeda-hole starr. haha you know it's true! jk) check out Immortal Technique, mc from harlem. even my dad likes him. songs of the moment: Dudley Perkins "The Light" produced by Madlib. stones throw records ya'll. and also Company Flow "Linda Tripp" - the definition of a dis track, not this nas/jayz shit>>>the present: books the future: poems and teeth>>>kings got beat in the 4th by the fucking mavs.>>>and in the infamous words of sam jackson and his tasty beverages, "yes they deserve to die, and i hope they burn in hell!!!!" peace.

northside's so funny. totally dominated by co-ops. making smores with kristi and freddie and shelly is fun. we stole grahm crackers from stebbins (ex-co-op). suckas. my smores are incredible...a kelis reference is unnecessary here. casa zimbawae is a very interesting place. no one gives a fuck what you do there. i could orgasm in the middle of the kitchen and sperminate all over the foozball table, and i'd be made the house president. pure genius. i wrote poetry and random rhymes/song lyrics on the walls. talking religion with kristi and freddie was great. as is Machiavelli's the prince - the U.S government definitely tore a page outta that book. go to this website (www.beausia.com) a fun spoken word artist. i recommend the photo section. sactown kings lost to memphis - jason williams finally has his revenge on us. damn. and why the fuck did the golden state warriors trade antwone jameson? why? errr. and these 4 day weekends look to be productive. and i'm starting to look people in the eye when i talk to them thereby fulfilling one of my subconscious new years resolutions. to bad time doesn't exist, we just live by it.

on a recent conversation with meraj (909 represent sucka) about kids that study abroad to europe:

BombardmentSoc: seriously. fuck europe. nobody goes to fucking south america, middle east, africa, places where they would really learn things about themselves. they go to europe and reinstate their past beliefs

ah, that last line is heaven. peace.

walking back home through north gate i hear a young man on his cell phone, talking very loudly, saying to whoever/whatever is on the other line: "Yeah, my distinct first empression of him was like, 'Yeah, I'm nice but I'm a complete slut'". Sluts rule.

finally moved into my large double with new roomie. it's nice feeling that sense of security again...ah, good ol security. to me it's funny how many kats my age love loosing control cuz their lives are so predictable; how they gotta create drama to stir up their sterile lives - i love security. life's hard enough as it is man, people gotta chill sometimes. i understand needing an outlet, but damn...sometimes you gotta chill.

tomorrow i'm definitely buying "cold vein" by cann ox, and hopefully the Vast Aire mixtape, if they got copies - that's some underground shit. just burned cds in slim lines being sold to the masses - true hiphop.

while at la val's pizza tonite, i notice a bassment poetry reading is going on downstairs...and man i tense up just seeing the ad on the wall. i have no idea why, but i've lost what little self-confidence i have in poetry right now, and at the worst time too....we'll see what happens. confidence man, fuck that word. maybe i'm a nihilist.

this entry ain't goin where i'd like it to go...so i'll just end it with this quote

"Dude, we finally got a black guy in stebbins! yea negroes!" - freddie

Alright, post #1. don't know why or for what purpose i am doing this shit, but hopefully that question will be answered....this hopefully won't be one of those "9-5 Blogs" that describes a persons lame day from beginning to end. I"M GONNA VENT!!!!!!!!! like a woman on her period or something....i'm dedicating this spot to vent, so if you wanna read some sad sexually-frustrated damn near suicidal rants, than you have come to the right place. i promise optimism in some spots, but not 100% guaranteeing. and expect lots of poor spelling and curse words as well.

so yeah, today sucked. i hate being around the superficial student body of Berkeley, even around the so-called 'liberal' kids (the same 20-40 mother fuckers i see at every liberal event, and still don't know they're names...sorry). not saying the Inland Empire is any better, but biological family knows you better than anyone, so it's more comfortable fitting in with them, cuz they know you're weird and lame and you're a dork, etc. so yeah........

on the bright side, the uc berkeley slams start soon, and i hope to join the team. it's gonna be hard, but we'll see.....

and i'm really really REALLY digging Aesop Rock's "Bazooka Tooth" and El-P's "Fantastic Damage". More Def Jux records rants in the future.

until another day....